Spoofy Randomness

Month: February 2018

  • LDSG: On Hold

    LDSG: On Hold

    From Meagan: 

    Moving abroad requires sacrifice… and not just from the person moving. That’s really hard early on in a relationship, when it should still be about flirting and dates and silliness and having adventures together.
    The last six or so weeks before Jake left, in an attempt to help AND squeeze in as much time with him as possible, our whole life became about preparation. Which meant that it was NOT about cleaning my house, mowing my lawn, eating well, exercising, or really maintaining my life at all.
    Add to that the fact that Jake was preoccupied with his own stress and, though he did what he could to comfort me in my emotional moments, I had a hard time feeling seen and acknowledged. At one point I felt like my contribution to this whole experience and process was summarized by simply packing his suitcases, which frankly made me really angry. My energy, my effort, and most of all my overall sacrifice for him to have this experience felt unnoticed and wasn’t met with the level of gratitude I felt like it deserved.
    It might have been only a week after he move when he had this big aha moment and told me how much he suddenly saw and understood. He needed time and space to breathe and think and process this ENORMOUS change to really let it sink in and click. And, truthfully, I think he needed to be WITHOUT me for a while for that to happen.
    The moment that clicked for him and he expressed his gratitude and just recognized me was one of the defining moments in our relationship. The acknowledgement of not just the little tasks I helped with, but the big-picture role I played was validating more than I can say.
    Our time apart continues to let us reflect on what we have together, what we want in the future, what we need from each other, and what our relationship really means to one another. And some really good conversations come from that.
    From Stretch:
    Don’t worry, this revelation did not take six months to happen! It pretty much happened the first day I was in Alex, coming off of the panic attack and having a chance to really sit and think.  But yes, it was very easy (and a little bit necessary, for both efficiency and sanity’s sake) to get so absorbed in getting ready to leave that the rest of my world got left in the lurch.  And Meagan did this all without complaint, coming straight from work every day to whatever we were doing.  She is a trooper, and she drives me to be the best I can be because of what she does.
    Meagan does raise a good point about distance in her commentary.  I think for every relationship, putting some distance every once in a while helps not take the other for granted.  That being said, I think we took this to a little extreme!  It is very important for anyone planning to live abroad to acknowledge the effect on those back home, and that was one of the goals of the Long-Distance Survival Guide this year, especially with last week’s and this one.
    One thing that this whole situation did for us is that it pushed us to have those deep conversations fairly early on.  We only started dating a little over seven months before I left.  As a result, we had to decide fairly early on whether we wanted to pursue our relationship with the intent of making it last when most people would still be in the ‘casual relationship’ stage, and I feel it really shows how well we click together that we were able to do so.
    Meagan’s bag in panel 3 might be full of trail mix…  This is the last of the Long-Distance Survival Guide comics until next year.  Time to take a break from drawing laptop and phone screens!
  • LDSG: Not Always An Adventure

    LDSG: Not Always An Adventure

    From Meagan: 

    Oh, look – there I am crying on Skype. That’s an exaggeration. That never happens *cough*
    Early on when Jake left, it was really hard for me for a lot of reasons but one of those reasons is that I felt like the least-interesting part of the relationship. Talking to him about establishing his new life in a foreign country made me feel like mowing my lawn and joining the YMCA just paled in comparison. Not that he felt that way, of course. Hearing about my more “normal” life helped us feel connected and helped him feel a bit more grounded in the reality of home.
    Then there were all kinds of questions about him, of course. It’s not that I minded the questions, but there were lots of instances where there was clearly more interest about how Jake was doing in Egypt than about anything I was doing in my own life without him. It was easy for me to feel like somehow the most interesting part about me was the fact I had a boyfriend in Africa. That didn’t feel good. I was an interesting person on my own before I even knew Jake existed, and I’m still an interesting person now.
    One of the things I actually looked forward to with Jake leaving was being able to really focus on me again. He got the offer for this job about a week after we started dating, so suffice it to say that this experience has really been at the center of our relationship. So much of my time and energy went into getting HIM ready to leave, but nothing was left over to help ME get ready for him to leave.
    So finding that balance of focusing on myself again, while talking to curious, well-meaning people who centered Jake in our conversations was difficult. Everything has gotten much, much better since then. But make no mistake – I wouldn’t want to do those first couple of months over again.
    From Stretch:
    A lot of people do have this impression that I’m always off exploring or something. But just like back in the States, most days I teach and then come home and crash. Not exactly the life of adventure! Meanwhile, Meagan is working on her house and doing half-marathons and whatnot.  And yet, just because I’m in Egypt, it’s considered more exotic or something? Early on, it took a bit of convincing that I do enjoy hearing about Meagan’s life and that it wasn’t boring, but we got there in the end.
    On the technical side of things, I think every cartoonist worries about someone accidentally viewing an antagonist as being based off of them. Now, throw in the fact that I have real people in the comic… I wasn’t sure how to show a generic character without accidentally making it appear like someone–and then I remembered that I had an entire cast I developed for five years that I could throw a cameo role in with. And Sally would be more interested in what people would be doing abroad (after all, she was crushing on the Canadian).
  • LDSG: Sync

    LDSG: Sync

    From Meagan

    Technology is a beautiful thing! Especially with Egypt post not sending to United States, I don’t know how we’d make it without Google Hangouts, Skype, and AppleTV. It’s the little things that make me feel so connected to Jake. They go a long way.

    And Supergirl especially is “our” thing. I’d never seen it until we watched it together for the first time on the night we decided to be in a relationship, and it’s been our show ever since. So still being able to share that is really meaningful. And there are some kind of heart-wrenching plots in that show that really resonate with us, our relationship, and being long-distance. Our song even came from a musical crossover between Supergirl and the Flash.

    But it’s all these little things and 1,000 more that don’t just make me feel connected, but allows us to continuously work on growing closer despite our distance. I think life is mostly little things and if we can find little things to share while we’re apart, it’s going to make sharing little things that much more special when we can finally be together again.

    From Stretch:

    Technology is a beautiful thing…but frequently is under threat of defenestration from me. We’ve had a few canceled or ‘Semper Gumby‘ dates because of it. But yes, it is wonderful, and I can’t imagine doing this without it.

    Credit to my friend Sheila for the TV idea; she used it to watch Grey’s Anatomy with a friend the first year we met and the idea apparently stuck with me for several years.

    One of my big points of life is to take joy in the little things, and I am fortunate to have found a partner with the same belief.  I will elaborate more on this in a future comic.

    I am not satisfied with my coloring of Bosco in this comic. I may redo that some day if I ever find the time.

    Also, I didn’t realize that I would be posting a comic ON Valentine’s Day until I went to save the sketches and had to put in the date it would be posted. Cool.  Our first Valentine’s Day, I introduced Meagan to the Nebraskan tradition of having chili with cinnamon rolls (it’s amazing).

  • LDSG: The Journal

    LDSG: The Journal

    From Stretch:

    It’s February! And that means Valentine’s Day! A day to spend with your loved one…who is ten thousand kilometers away. Oh. So instead, Meagan and I decided that we would present a monthlong ‘survival guide’ about relationships abroad.

    I was really looking forward to sending the journal back and forth, and the occasional letter as well.  It never crossed my mind that Egypt Post wouldn’t send to North America (apparently this is a recent development, and yes, they do send to Europe).  We do still send the journal back and forth, just not as frequently as we hoped, and I’ve taken advantage of situations like my sister coming to visit to get the journal overseas, along with some postcards that I had promised to send before I knew.  It is really nice to get it and read something that Meagan has physically written in (and adorned with ALL THE STICKERS).  And yes, the Arabic comment actually happened. This is why I don’t hand-letter comics.

    Been in a long-distance relationship? Have some useful stories? Comment below!

    From Meagan:
    I stole this idea from a friend who was long-distance with their partner domestically, and never really entertained the idea that it would be such an expensive hassle to have it mailed back.

    The bonus of getting the journal by DHL is that it will arrive in about three days. The downside of sending it back to him via USPS is that it takes three weeks or longer, and I’m worried the entire time that it has gotten lost somewhere in Egypt. So I get pretty anxious when I mail it. Every time we send it, it gets that much more valuable and important to me. It’s one of my favorite things.

    That being said, I’m so glad we’re doing this. It’s such a special and exciting day when I receive it. There’s just something really personal about getting to see his handwriting (even if I can’t always read it), and knowing that I’m holding something he’s held. It helps me feel that much more connected. It’s always full of interesting goodies like ticket stubs from all the cool places he’s been. And I’ll put in pictures and QR codes to different videos and really anything else I can think of.

    Communication is critical in any relationship, but especially when you can’t share a physical space, so having different avenues for that communication is really beneficial. I like to use it as an opportunity for Stretch to learn more about me.